A love letter to the Rubber Stamp Collector:

Dearest Rubber Stamp Collector... or Bob Fondoole-me as I like to call you,

I like the way you stare at me,

and when you are that bumble bee.

I like the way you sway in the river,

and how you pooped out a liver.

I hate it when you fondle cats,

and how you canoodle with fat rats.

I hate it when you cry like a little child who fell off the slide because they are dumb as shit,

and when you only wear an oven mit.

I love it when you place your stamps all over me,

it makes me feel really free and and I'm filled with glee.

Nipples in your bellybutton.

Do me,

Mr. Bigglesworth